Christianne's Page

About

About Christianne

"We'll start with an Earthquake, then build from there to the climax."
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Sometimes it seems like most of the T-girl pages on the net have the same biographical information on them. Is the commonality of personal experience a result of gender dysphoria or is gender dysphoria the result of a commonality of personal experience? Who can say? My biography differs, somewhat, I think.

I cannot remember a time when I didn't want to dress up. I lived in a VERY male household. I had two brothers and no sisters. My dad was away from home most of the time, so maybe I identified too much with my mother. On the other hand, maybe there is a biological explanation. In any event, I started to crossdress as soon as I knew that there was a difference between boys and girls.

My favorite book when I was a kid was The Marvelous Land of Oz, in which it is revealed that our young hero, Tip, is actually Princess Ozma in disguise. Glinda the Good Witch transforms him back into her at the end of the book. I always wanted to be Princess Ozma.

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances of getting a date on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen

This part of my bio used to read like this:

"Like most crossdressers, I hid my desires as if my life depended on it when I was a teen. I was also wrestling with the problem of sexual preferrence, which I have never really resolved to my own satisfaction (I am bisexual, and have only really been comfortable with it for the last few years).

I have been out of the closet for a couple of years now. I haven't told my family about it, but they don't need to know, really, since they all live far away from me. I haven't taken hormones (yet) or undergone any surgical procedures to feminize myself (yet), but I can forsee doing both in the near future. I have always viewed gender as a spectrum rather than as an absolute. It is entirely possible to encompass several gender identities in one person, I think, although most people will go to any lengths to have only one. I feel bad for those folks. They don't have much fun in life. Put another way: I don't like to have the same thing for dinner every night, either.

Everyone who knows me knows about Christianne, and the process of telling everyone was surprisingly easy. Scary, but easy. The best thing about coming out of the closet, as the saying goes, is that all of my female friends now give me clothes."

A lot has changed since I wrote that. First off, I've arrived at the conclusion that I am a transsexual. Part of me has always known this, but I've never been willing to fully acknowledge the fact until very recently. When I realized what I wanted to do, I sought professional help. I've been seeng a therapist who specializes in gender identity, and she concurs with my assesment. I've been taking baby steps towards a full transition. I've been modifying my body in small ways--mainly permanent hair removal--but I'm about to start changing it in major ways. At this writing, I'm on the verge of beginning hormone therapy. I fully intend to undergo gender reassignment surgery when I qualify (and when I can afford it). I guess I've gone a bit beyond recreational crossdressing here.

"I burn for your lips, dear, and the crack of your whips, dear..."
-- Tom Leher, "The Masochisim Tango"

A couple of years ago, I discovered that I lived upstairs from a professional dominatrix. Her next door neighbors were a strange cabal of Mormon missionaries, and I later decided that their proximity was a lot like putting matter next to anti-matter. Her professional name was (is) Domina Zephyr. She was a very nice girl, and she was instrumental in drawing me out of my shell. There isn't much in the way of a TG support network in my home town, but there IS a BDSM group. She was a member and asked if I would like to attend a meeting, and, curious, I went. My preconceptions about the leather scene turned out to be entirely unfounded. Almost everyone I met turned out to be very nice, and I have learned a lot about my own sexuality from them. Mainly, I discovered that I REALLY like fetishwear. I don't much like MALE fetishwear (the leatherboy scene does nothing for me), but female fetishwear...well...

As for D/S play? I met my current girlfriend through the lifestyle, but I'm not really a lifestyler, per se. It's fun, but it's more of a hobby for me.

"Love (n): a temporary insanity often curable by marriage."
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I am currently involved in a wonderful relationship with a VERY understanding woman. She knew about my proclivities BEFORE she asked me out and she actively encourages my lifestyle. She doesn't even mind if I have a fling with a boy or two on the side. I cannot believe how lucky I am.

It wasn't always so rosy. The first girlfriend I ever told freaked out. She had a streak of homophobia a mile wide, which surprised the hell out of me. It was ugly. I went into a deep depression after that experience. I dated mostly men for a while after that, but gay men aren't terribly accepting of transgenderism, either. This period only served to demonstrate that I am more attracted to women, even though men are more skilled in bed.

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." -- Mark Twain

The inevitable profile:

Age: I'm as old as my toes and slightly older than my teeth.

Height: 5'6"

Weight: Yeah, right!

Bra Size: 38 C (used to be a D cup, but I've scaled back lately in the interests of reality)

Occupation: graphic designer

Favorite movie: Depends on what day of the week it is (at this writing it's Touch of Evil)

Favorite music: Punk (The Clash, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, Television, X), Post-Punk (Talking Heads, Elvis Costello, REM, PJ Harvey, Madder Rose, Sleater Kinney), Memphis Soul (Sam & Dave, Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett, Booker T and the MGs), Pop (Blondie, Katrina and the Waves, The Bangles, En Vogue), and many others...Here's a fun playlist to give you an idea of what sort of music I like:

Favorite writers: William Shakespeare, William Faulkner, Joseph Conrad, Shirley Jackson, Flannery O'Connor, Cormac McCarthy, James Agee, Raymond Chandler, Cornell Woolrich, Jim Thompson, Dan Simmons, Theodore Sturgeon, Richard Matheson, John Collier, Elmore Leonard, Saki, James Thurber...and so on.

In an interview in 1962, shortly before his death, William Faulkner was asked what he was reading. His answer: "Charles Dickens and The Bible. At my age, I only have time for the good stuff.".

Favorite Artists: Albrecht Durer, Jan Vermeer, Caspar David Freidrich, John Singer Sargent, Thomas Eakins, Edward Hopper, Joseph Turner, John Constable, William Hogarth, Goya, Velasquez, Daumier, Gustav Klimt, Robert Rauschenberg, Jasper Johns, Robert Arneson, Klaes Oldenberg, Chuck Close, Christo, Robert Crumb, Art Spiegelman, Harvey Kurtzman, Will Eisner..and so on.